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Writer's Block Tried to Ruin Me May. 21, 2022
Acute panic accompanies a blank page, so I almost never use one. It's a mental trick. You see, I wri... Read More
Endship Ring May. 17, 2022
I was roommates with a girl five years ago. I was a spoiled brat for many years, but I've worked ve... Read More
I'm Sorry, but the Supermassive Black Hole Has Demotivated Me May. 14, 2022
Look, it is impossible to get motivated about anything when there's new confirmed evidence of a supe... Read More
Your Phone Is Not Your Friend. Neither Is Your Brain. May. 12, 2022
Despite what everyone thinks, you were born with a wonderful brain. Chock-full of neurons, dendrites... Read More
Putting The Removes On Someone May. 10, 2022
I recently had my addiction recovery memoir published. I'm very honest and vulnerable in it, and re... Read More
Let's Learn to Laugh and Regain our Sense of Humor Apr. 28, 2022
Next weekend is Mother's Day, which of course reminds me of my mother, Jackie Battley Gingrich, who ... Read More
Invasion of the Suburbs Snatchers Apr. 26, 2022
Scene: In the dark of night, a tiny object plummets invisibly to the earth. Glowing with the searin... Read More
A Brief History Of Tame Apr. 26, 2022
I'm a 45-year-old single guy seeking a long-term relationship. My problem is that when I'm interact... Read More
My Detailed Plan to Buy Twitter Out from Under Elon Musk Apr. 23, 2022
You may have heard Elon Musk is trying to buy Twitter for $46.5 billion, the way Veruca Salt demande... Read More
Starting to Plan a Vacation? Stop! Apr. 21, 2022
This is so "you." Instead of using every second of your allotted vacation time, you plan to take th... Read More
A Thorny Situation Apr. 19, 2022
"Ow!" I exclaimed, clutching my leg. "I've been stabbed!" I looked down and saw my attacker, an inn... Read More
Backbone To The Future Apr. 19, 2022
I'm a man in my 60s. Looking back on my romantic life, I was always the guy women spent time with w... Read More
Sitting Duck Apr. 12, 2022
Husband: Honey, can you call the duct company? We need to get our ducts cleaned. Me: We have ducks?... Read More
A Last-Minute Tax Day Guide for Professional Procrastinators Apr. 09, 2022
Progresstination. I accidentally uttered this recently while trying to say "procrastination." It was... Read More
Don't Let Summer Be a Bummer! Apr. 07, 2022
If you're a parent, it's time to think summer safety ... even though it's only spring. That's safety... Read More
Cower Struggle Apr. 05, 2022
I'm a 20-something single woman. I just moved to a new city where I don't know anybody. I'd like to ... Read More
Things I Wish Were April Fool's Day Jokes but Tragically Are Not Apr. 01, 2022
It is time for the worst holiday of the year. Not Tax Day, nor Columbus Day, nor Talk Like a Pirate ... Read More
Taking a Vacation from Your Vacation Mar. 31, 2022
It's bad news, I know, but, this year, you may actually have to go on vacation. Leaving your comfy C... Read More
Indisposed Mar. 29, 2022
Usually, when someone goes to the dentist, they worry about things like cavities and gingivitis and ... Read More
