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Mild to Moderate Medical Conditions for the End Times May. 03, 2025
In my free time, I've been exclusively watching medical shows and making doctor's appointments. No, ... Read More
A Long, Strange Trip: Stairway to Heaven Version May. 02, 2025
The 60s were an off-kilter adventure (much of which actually happened in the 70s). Imagine yourself ... Read More
Time To Lose the Retirement Blues May. 01, 2025
I have an idea — instead of waking up every morning feeling fraught and frustrated with your j... Read More
Confessions of an AI-Optimist Apr. 27, 2025
I'm probably not supposed to admit this, especially as a writer, but I'm not afraid of AI. I don't t... Read More
Get Ready for a Hot Norovirus Summer Apr. 26, 2025
Hey, you look a little listless, wan from the drudgeries of dry land. With temperatures heating up a... Read More
An Open Letter to Mayors and City Council Members Everywhere Apr. 25, 2025
Dear Most High: Say you're moving around your city — not necessarily doing exalted mayor or se... Read More
Whatcha Say -- It's 'Make No Complaints May' Apr. 24, 2025
Congratulations! You made it through "Dry January." It was a struggle, but you did it. Then came "Fr... Read More
Use the Good China Today Apr. 20, 2025
It started with a comment during school pickup, something my mom said about the china plates she rem... Read More
Transcript of a Call to an Internet Service Provider Apr. 19, 2025
The following is a transcript of a phone call you made last month to your internet service provider ... Read More
English and I -- or Maybe Me Apr. 18, 2025
I have no facility with languages. I'm incoherent in Latin, French, Spanish and, far too often, in E... Read More
The Stress Mess Apr. 17, 2025
Feeling stressed at work? I don't blame you. The economy is looking rocky. The entire concept of jo... Read More
Tugging at the Same Roots Apr. 13, 2025
I waited to return her call until I had all the information I could get. Unfortunately, the ultimate... Read More
How to Meditate -- for the Chronically Anxious Apr. 12, 2025
Mindfulness meditation: It's all the rage. If you've been anywhere, talked to anyone or visited any ... Read More
I Am Your New Dishwasher and I Will Destroy You Apr. 12, 2025
Hi, and welcome to your new dishwasher! We hope you enjoy the experience of not quite getting your d... Read More
History Calls -- Wants Money Apr. 11, 2025
I couldn't be more proud. Official word from the Republican Party might be delayed, but for the sake... Read More
Dump the Slump Apr. 10, 2025
It happens every workday morning. You wake up full of energy and optimism. You leap out of bed and r... Read More
The Kids Are Not All Right ... but They Might Be Right Apr. 06, 2025
You know that line from "The Avengers," where Bruce Banner turns to Captain America and says, "That'... Read More
Penguin Prime Minister Responds to Trump Tariffs Apr. 05, 2025
Hi, my name is Jeffrey the Macaroni Penguin. I am the prime minister of the penguin contingent on He... Read More
Best and Worst Recession Indicators Apr. 05, 2025
How did you spend Liberation Day? I celebrated President Donald Trump announcing confounding recipro... Read More
Customer Disservice: No One Can Hear You Scream Apr. 04, 2025
The bill was for two unspecified injections weeks earlier. I remembered getting a free flu shot and ... Read More
